


Freaky Phriday

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Universe, Dom/sub, Gen, Humor, M/M, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Meta, Sexual Slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-16 18:43:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9285089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In an alternate universe, Phil Lester is a successful CEO with a not-exactly-secret personal network of slaves and servants, both sexual and otherwise, catering to his every whim. (Dan is his favorite.)Meanwhile, in the real world, Dan and Phil are the same as we know them.What will happen when these instances of our dynamic duo have their places swapped?(Hint: shit gets ridiculous, fast.)





	1. Shit gets weird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an alternate universe, Phil Lester is a successful CEO with a not-exactly-secret personal network of slaves and servants, both sexual and otherwise, catering to his every whim. (Dan is his favorite.)  
> Meanwhile, in the real world, Dan and Phil are the same as we know them.  
> What will happen when these instances of our dynamic duo have their places swapped?  
> (Hint: shit gets ridiculous, fast.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic that I've decided to upload to ao3! I don't plan to write anything explicit in terms of sex, (I can't really write sex scenes all that well) but who knows what I'll decide in the future. This isn't exactly a crack fic, but it is kind of silly.
> 
> (And yes, I am aware that Freaky Friday involved a body swap, not a reality swap or whatever else you'd call this.)

_Dan choked back a whimper as Phil stood over him, an almost predatory grin on his face. "I-I'm sorry, Master, I couldn't help it..."_

  


_Phil tilted the younger boy's face up to meet his gaze. "You know the rules, Danny boy. A naughty slave cannot go unpunished." Dan was sitting on the bed now, leaning back on his hands. He let out a shaky breath, fear in his eyes._

  


_"W-What are you going to do to me?" He squeaked._

  


_Phil chuckled darkly. "When I'm through with you, you won't even be able to remember your own name."_

  
~***~  


Meanwhile, the Dan and Phil that we know and love were, unsurprisingly, browsing the internet on their respective laptops. Dan's posture was bad enough to give someone a backache by proxy. Phil's wasn't much better, but looked flawless by comparison. He smiled to himself as a gif of sea lions playing appeared on his dashboard, clicking 'like.' He briefly considered reblogging it before deciding against it. He didn't like to clutter his followers' dashboards too much if he could help it.

  


Dan, meanwhile, scrolled through his twitter feed, noting an inspirational tweet Kanye West has posted. A niggling thought at the back of his mind reminded him that he should be editing their latest video for the gaming channel, but he waved it away, convincing himself that it could wait until their delivery from Tesco arrived. (Nevermind that he'd been telling himself similar things for the past five hours now.) As if on cue, the doorbell rang. He glanced up at Phil, a pleading look in his eyes.

  


The older man sighed, rolling his eyes but getting up anyway, setting aside his laptop. Phil took the stairs two at a time, miraculously managing not to trip on the way to the door. As he touched the doorknob, however, he was immediately engulfed in a bright light, vanishing instantly.

  


Dan, after a few minutes, realized he didn't hear Phil handling the groceries, or anything at all, really. "Phil?" Dan called out. That was odd, to say the least. He decided to go check on his friend, freezing in place as he saw that the front door was closed with no groceries in sight. Dan must've been getting paranoid--surely Phil had just stepped outside for a second, right? _Right?_ He figured that, as he was up anyway, he should go out to help Phil with the bags. Dan extended a shaky hand (why was he shaking?) to the knob, and then his surroundings faded out of focus entirely.

  


~***~

  


The first thing Phil noticed was the size of the room he was in. He stood in front of a bed that was almost intimidating in size, with a jet black duvet and red satin sheets. The entirety of the room looked more expensive than anything he'd ever dreamed of. There were four doors that he could see. The first one apparently led to a very nice en-suite bathroom with a shower, bathtub, and hot tub ('why would you need both,' he thought to himself). The second was a walk-in closet full of suit jackets, polo shirts, dress pants, and just about any kind of garment aside from t-shirts or jeans in just about any style and color imaginable. There were two doors left, with presumably at least one of them leading to the rest of the building.

  


Of course, with Phil's luck, the one he opened up did not, to say the least.

  


His eyes widened comically at the assortment of... items that he saw inside. He could only figure out the purpose of about 10% of these. Attached the inside of the door were... dog leashes? Wait, no, definitely not dog leashes. Oh dear.

  


"Phil!" A familiar voice shouted behind him. The aforementioned man slammed the door shut at lightning speed, practically breaking the sound barrier in the progress. He turned around looking like he'd seen a ghost, a deep pink blush on his face.

  


"What--uh--hi, Dan. How are... you?" Phil stammered nervously. Dan had a bemused expression on his face.

  


"What?" He had no idea why Phil was so freaked out, before realization dawned on him. He grinned with a mischevious glint in his eyes. "What's in there?"

  


Phil pressed his back against the door. "Nothing! It's nothing, Dan." Dan quirked an eyebrow, pushing the other boy aside, opening the door before Phil could stop him. Dan's laughter could probably be heard around the world.

  


"What the actual fuck is this?" Dan asked. Phil buried his face in his hands before looking up suddenly, a determined expression on his face.

  


"Look, Dan, we have to figure out how we got here and how to get back home."

  


"It might help to figure out where we are, then." Before either of them could continue, a knock was heard at the one door Phil had yet to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Now, I don't honestly plan for this to be a shipping fic. If you enjoy Dan and Phil's silly misadventures through an OOC fanfic universe, though, you'll enjoy this. I'll see you in the next chapter.


	2. Fashion advice with Dan Howell, apparently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Among other things, Phil learns that there are standards one has to meet when they're at the top of the corporate food chain.

"Are you alright in there, Mr. Lester?" said an apprehensive female voice.

  
Phil's heart skipped a beat. "Yes, I'll be out in a bit!"

  
"Of course, sir! My sincerest apologies for interrupting. Remember, you have a meeting at 12:30 PM with the head of Tesco. Have fun, you two!" There was the sound of hurried footsteps fading out, and then nothing. Before he could dwell on what she meant by 'you two,' Phil's attention was redirected as he heard Dan curse under his breath.

  
"Phil, it's five past ten already. You need to get ready!" Dan implored him.

  
"Right, I'll go shower, I guess? Just... sit tight for a little while." As if Dan had anywhere to go at this point. Phil rushed off to the bathroom.

Dan sat at the edge of the (incredibly soft) mattress, thoughts racing a mile a minute. He took out his phone and swore. No service. So much for contacting the outside world. _Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that Phil and I might be M.I.A for a while, seeing as we've been whisked away into some kind of bizarre hell dimension, possibly indefinitely._ It felt like no time at all before 15 minutes had passed and Phil had re-entered the room, towel wrapped around his waist. Dan glanced up before turning away in embarrassment.

  
"Phil, give me some kind of warning first!" Phil apologized, rushing into the closet and closing the door behind him. _Right, it was a walk-in,_ Dan thought. When Phil re-emerged, Dan had to laugh. "You realize none of that goes together, right? You're not even wearing the jacket right!" Dan laughed, explaining exactly how Phil managed to Screw Up™ and suggesting alternatives to certain articles of clothing before noticing the amused expression on Phil's face. "What?"

  
"You realize you aren't my mum, right?" Phil laughed, tongue poking out a little. Dan backpedaled, looking flustered.

  
"I'm just trying to make sure you don't look like a fucking twat in front of a corporate giant!" He picked out a few different garments, ushering Phil back into the closet. When Phil emerged this time, Dan had what he was planning to say already laid out. "Alright, here's how I see it: we've ended up in some alternate reality where you're some posh CEO billionaire, and I'm... possibly in a relationship with you?" Dan's face began to heat up at that. "That lady knew I was in here with you which is apparently normal. I'm going to guess that you're into some crazy shit, judging by your... belongings." Dan waggled his eyebrows suggestively, though internally he cringed.

  
Phil partially hid his face behind his hand. "Uh, yeah. I think I should just try to get through the day, and then we can meet up back here. Maybe you could ask around the house while I'm gone?" Dan shrugged.

  
"I can't really think of a better plan." Phil finished up his daily routine, with him and Dan sharing a few words here and there. The older man was about to leave before a knock was heard at the door. "Come in!" Phil said.

  
He was not prepared for what had awaited him behind the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's that behind the door? You'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!


	3. Good Dan, Best Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry that I haven't posted in a little while. Once I get over my cold I should be writing more and updating more frequently.

"...PJ?" He asked incredulously. It was clearly him, but... different, somehow. For starters, there was a distinct lack of clothing on his body aside from--dear Lord--black lacy panties, but what really stuck out was that the man's usual bright eyed smile was replaced with timid, downcast eyes and a subdued frown. PJ glanced up at Phil, then Dan, before looking down again, confusion and what appeared to be envy flashing briefly across his eyes. He carried a platter of bacon (crispy), eggs (scrambled and fluffy), and most importantly, pancakes (!!!). 

"Breakfast in bed, as you asked. Might there be anything else I can offer you, Master?" PJ said, not daring to look Phil in the eye.

Before he realized what he was doing, Phil had placed a comforting hand on PJ's shoulder (even though he was entirely naked, his mind would later remind him) and smiled warmly at him. PJ had flinched at the sudden physical contact, but had gained the confidence to look Phil in the eye as he saw the kind, fond look in Phil's expression. "This is more than enough, PJ! Thank you so much." The way that PJ perked up at the praise was completely worth it, though.

"O-Of course! I'm happy to please you, Master!" PJ bowed graciously before turning and leaving the room. The second the door closed, Dan flipped the fuck out.

"What the hell was that?"

"I don't know! I felt so bad for him--"

"What, no, not that! Why the fuck was he wearing... that?"

"Who knows?" Phil took a deep breath. "Just let me eat. I'm really hungry for some reason." Dan realized that he was as well. He then noticed that in addition to the large serving platter that Phil got, there was what appeared to be the fanciest darn dog food bowl ever seen. It was black with a gold trim, with intricate patterns along the side. (Were the scenario a bit less messed up, Dan would note that it was incredibly aesthetically pleasing. It would make him almost consider getting a dog just to use it.) It was filled with the same contents of Phil's meal, except that it was all mixed together like one might mix up a dog's wet and dry food. There was also a similar looking water dish next to it. The most alarming bit, however, was that both of these were engraved with a name.

That name was Dan.

Dan Howell, internet personality, former radio show co-host and now co-author, went utterly and absolutely batshit insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Dan. Phil was definitely dealt the better hand in this AU.


	4. The Gang's All Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, when you're faced with the reality that everything has gone completely fucking pear-shaped, you need a little help from your friends.

"I AM FUCKING DONE WITH TODAY! I'm in some kind of shitty fanfic alternate dimension, I'm apparently some kind of sex slave--and so is PJ--and now I find out that bizarro you is apparently some kind of petplay fetishist that forces me to eat off of the floor like some kind of... _dog!"_ Dan looked as if he was close to crying, shaking like a leaf, face beet-red. Phil looked stunned.

"Dan, I'm so sorry--"

"Stop. Just... stop. I don't want to talk about it."

Phil looked crestfallen. He set his half-eaten breakfast aside. "I should go." He quickly exited the room. Dan pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, laying back down on the bed, willing himself to not let any tears spill.

At some point, Dan must've fallen asleep, because there was a knock at the door. Not caring who it was, he mumbled a half-hearted "go away," turning over on the bed.

"Dan, are you alright?" Was that... Chris?

"We're worried about you." And that was PJ. Dan sighed.

"Fine, come in." It's not like Dan cared about keeping up appearances around these fake versions of his friends. The duo entered cautiously, closing the door behind them. Dan glanced up to see that, yup, PJ was wearing exactly the same amount of clothing--which is to say next to nil--and Chris was wearing some dangerously short shorts. Lovely. They whispered between themselves for a little while.

"Did Phil give you permission to play?" Chris asked tentatively.

Dan's sleep-addled brain struggled to figure out his meaning before realization dawned on him, a wave of nausea rolling over him.

"Uh, yeah, but I really don't feel up for... anything, right now."

PJ frowned. "Well, alright. We're here if you want to talk or anything, though." The two of them turned to leave before an idea struck Dan; he could use this as an opportunity to learn more about this universe.

"Actually, could I take you up on that offer? To talk, that is," he added hurriedly, as he was not up for 'playing.'  
PJ beamed. He seemed more comfortable now that Phil wasn't around. "Sure! What's up?"

"Well," Dan started before being interrupted by another knock at the door. 

"It's Louise. I've got some tea and biscuits for you guys." Dan lit up at that.

"Come in, then!" It was only after the words left his mouth that the thought hit him that she might in fact be in a similar state of undress as the other two. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he saw that she was, in fact, fully clothed. Louise sighed at seeing that she and Dan were the only ones that were so.

"Let me get you two some shirts, at least. Phil doesn't have to know a thing." _Thank fuck,_ Dan thought to himself. He was able to look the two of them in the eyes after that had been taken care of. Dan waited for Louise to exit the room and close the door behind her before speaking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I was thinking that in the next chapter, we could check up on how things are going in the original universe. What would you do in Dan's situation? What do you think is going on back in the 'real world?' I'd love to see you guys speculate on what happens next!


	5. Meanwhile...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in the real world, Dan and Phil's fictional counterparts have appeared! It doesn't take long for people to realize that something is up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know it's been approximately 54643737 years since I last updated. Shit happens! Anyway, enjoy the shenanigans!

_Phil and Dan's lips were about to connect before a brilliant light surrounded them. Suddenly, they were laying on a much smaller bed with a blue and green checkered duvet with matching pillowcases. They looked around in confusion._   
_"What just happened?" Phil wondered out loud. He glanced down on Dan. "You have permission to speak. I'm afraid we might have to continue this later." Dan tried to hide his disappointment._

  
_"Where are we, Master?" Phil shrugged._

  
_"I'm not sure. Be a dear and search the room for me." Phil leaned back in the bed, watching Dan dutifully carrying out his orders. The dressers mostly contained socks and the like, (all mismatched) but hidden at the back of one of the drawers was a small bottle of lubricant. Dan grinned._

  
_"It looks like we might not have to wait too long after all, Master Phil." He retrieved the bottle triumphantly. Phil smiled lazily._  
 _"Excellent. Come here, baby."_  
~***~  
_After their time together, Phil ventured out to find the bathroom (which was unfortunately lacking in size, but it would have to do.) and prepare for the day ahead._  
 _What Phil did not realize was that his and Dan's alternate universe counterparts had scheduled to have lunch with PJ at Nando's. While Phil was still in the shower, Dan could hear the doorbell ring. As no one else seemed to be around, he figured he might as well get the door._

  
_Whatever words PJ was going to say died immediately in his throat. He froze in place for half a second before coming to his senses. He averted his eyes, more than a little flustered. "Dan. Dan, please put some clothes on. You're burning my retinas here," he joked, hoping to lighten the awkward mood. PJ realized Dan hadn't budged. He made himself look Dan in the eye (and_ only _the eye,) noticing that Dan looked confused._

  
_"What's wrong, PJ?" The boy asked, "and why are you dressed like that? I don't think Phil would be too thrilled about that."_

  
_PJ stared blankly at Dan. "...What?"_

  
_Dan looked at him sympathetically. "I'm just looking out for you, PJ. Isn't that what friends are for?"_

  
_PJ had a look of intense thought on his face. "I'm calling Louise."_  
~***~  
_PJ waited for Louise to finish laughing. He ended up waiting for a good while. "Are you done yet?" He shifted the phone to his other hand._

  
_"Oh... I think so, yes. I'm sorry, it's just so ridiculous!" If PJ wasn't so shaken up, he'd be laughing with her. As it was, however, things were just... weird. PJ certainly was no stranger to weirdness--indeed, he embraced it--but this was less 'whimsical and quirky' and more 'I think my friend is broken, help.'_

  
_"Louise, I think we need to stage an intervention."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write smut. Plain and simple. Wacky hijinks and flirtatious banter will have to do! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next chapter might be the intervention, or we might head back to see how the Real Dan™ is holding out.


End file.
